Hurry up and wait..

Anyone who has had any experience with the military knows this is a common motto. It seems like with every kind of situation it is hurry up and wait. When it came time for the first deployment to Iraq we dealt with it a ton. He was suppose to deploy in May 2006. Then it became June or July. By time he actually left it was the beginning of September. It is a lot to go through mentally. We kept preparing ourselves for him to head off to his first tour to Iraq just to be told "not yet". Even right up to the last few days. The night before he was suppose to leave he got a call and they said he will now be leaving 2 days later. I think that is why that deployment was so mentally exhausting for so many families. They ended up having to stay an extra few months, making it 15 months, but all of the talk, training, etc made it seem like it was much longer than that. Before they even came home we knew when they were going back again.

Homecomings are the same way. We didn't have an exact time frame until right before they left their destination. When we finally had a time frame it changed a few times. When we finally had an hour to be at the ceremony site we had to wait several hours. It was okay with that situation. Having the butterflies in your stomach as you are waiting to see your spouse again after several months is such an exciting feeling. Friends all gathered around, sharing your excitement. I loved standing in that gym waiting, even when I was there at 3 am with 3 tired kids.

Now that we are coming to the very end of my husband being active duty it has been the longest situation of hurry up and wait in my life. We found out last September he was going to be medically discharged. At that time they told us the process could go very fast so be prepared. I let that get to me and I did actually prepare. I knew it could be longer but just didn't realize how long the process really could be. I did not think that we would be in Washington still at this point but here we sit....and wait. And wait some more. The unit he is in are major slackers. It took them over 2 weeks to sign a piece of paper that normally takes 2 days.

Finally, today there was a call saying that his orders were cut. That means it is final. This is finally it. We will be starting a new life very soon. As of July 27th my husband will no longer be in the Army. It is a bittersweet feeling. I am so happy that I do not need to stand there and watch him load up a bus, heading off to a war zone. I am happy he won't have to miss out on extended amounts of time in the girls' lives again. I am happy Aubrey will not ever have to know the sadness the other two did as they had to say goodbye to daddy, not understanding why he had to go or when he would return. Or if he would return. She can stay innocent a little longer. The other girls had to grow up faster in a certain sense. They already understand death so well from losing close family members and also some friends that have given their life for this country.

While I am happy I am also a bit sad. I have met some of the greatest people during the time he has been in the Army. They have become great friends, some even family. There is this closeness that you feel when everyone is going through the same situation. We understand each other. We are there for each other. I will also miss moving. As much as moving sucks I will miss it. There were other places we wanted to live so we knew where we would settle down for good. We know Omaha will just be a short term thing but now we just don't know for sure where we will go from there. And we will have to pay and do all of the moving ourselves! We were hoping to go back to Germany. We are keeping that open right now. Once I am done with school we are going to look into civilian jobs there so we can go back.

We still do not have an exact date we will be moving. It will all depend how far out the movers are backed up. If they have a date a week from now then we will be leaving. I feel so unprepared! After all of this time waiting you would think I would be fully ready to go, but the truth is that I am not. There is more I wish I could see before we left this area. There is more I want to do to the house to get ready, toss out more clutter etc. Just like always, it will all work out some way or another.

Just because I have to post some photos, here are a few of fireworks. I am not too happy with any of the shots I got. It is tough trying to take photos during a show where they do them right after another, pretty much all in the same spot. I also was holding my 2 year old almost the entire time and she kept trying to grab the tripod.

Blah blah

I think this blog will end up going back to more of a family blog with a ton of photos, rather than a photo blog with some family info. Things have been so crazy lately. Photography is having to take a backseat, not happy about that! The thought of us moving SO soon and leaving the Army behind is hitting me. What the hell are we going to do?? I am going to really miss the comfort of the Army. Knowing we always had a steady paycheck coming in and healthcare was huge for me. Now that we are leaving that I am kind of in panic mode right now. I still have almost 3 years before I am done with school. I am going to have to work once we move but it makes me nervous thinking about finding a place after not working in almost 6 years with no degree. I am a huge worrier. I am trying to relax and just kind of wait and see how things will be, but that's just not me.

I guess it is harder for me now that my husband finally admitted he really does not want this but there is really nothing he can do. He was thinking about getting out in 2013 anyways but that was just talk, just like he was talking about going to be a warrant officer. If he would have gotten out then it would have been on his own terms. It's different when it isn't a choice that you made. The Army isn't just a job, it is your whole family's life pretty much. It will be nice to not have to move around, or at least chose where and when we move.

Someone asked me how it is that I packed up my kids and got on a plane with them alone to move to Germany. For me that was easy! Not sure why or how, but it was. It was exciting starting a new life. Now that we are starting over again it isn't so exciting. It is full of worry about the unknown. At least when I left for Germany we had a place to live secured and a job lol. Oh and the fact that I was moving to Europe which I never even thought I would go there to visit. That sure helped take away the fear. This week I will be putting in some applications online. I will need all the good vibes I can get! Right now there is an opening for a great opportunity for me at the Children's hospital but my CPR has lapsed. I registered for a class to get re-certified the second week of July at my school so hopefully this job will take that into consideration. This job will help me out with what I am going to school for.

On another note...just one more week of school for the kids! Their last day is next Monday but they get out at 11:30. I hope between all the of stress of the moving we can get out and do some more things around here before it is time to pack up and go for good.

A little catching up

By now I pretty much forgot what week it is so I will just post some random shots from the last week or so. I really need to pick my camera up more but honestly, when out and about with the kids it has been kind of nice to just enjoy it instead of trying to capture it all. We had a few gorgeous days here. Hopefully that will continue! I was talking to my sister while I was out in the nice sun and 70 degree weather and she said the heat index there was 101! I don't know what I am going to do when we move. I hate the nasty humidity and the heat.

Speaking of the move, we STILL do not have a date, or even a small time frame. What we do know is that it is a done deal now. Last Friday my husband signed the paperwork. He is officially getting out of the Army. We have known this for a few months but seeing the massive packet that he brought home just made it real. It is going to be a huge adjustment. It is going to be tough I am sure, especially with me in school. Things will change financially and just all around. We are assuming we will be packing the house up and moving the last week of the month or the first week or so into July. I will be starting my pre cleaning and organizing this week. In other words, I will be getting rid of as much crap as I can lol. We need to go through toys, clothes, paperwork, books etc. Moving is always a great time to purge unneeded things. It always makes me feel better to box up stuff and remove it from my house.

As much as I am not ready to move to Omaha the timing couldn't be more right. I found out recently my grandma has lung cancer. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I lost both grandfathers and my dad. I am not ready for either of my grandmas to go too. She will be having surgery tomorrow afternoon to remove a portion of her lung. Luckily it is not a full half of the lung as they originally thought. She goes to the doctor often so it was caught early on. I really wish I could be there tomorrow and the following days. At least I will be there soon enough. My kids need to really get to know their family, especially Aubrey.

Enough rambling...here are some photos of my kids from the past few weeks. Nothing spectacular, just some mom shots that could really use some consistency with color. I did a lot of editing the other night when the sun was shining right into the window my computer is up against. Not good. I have still failed miserably at getting a photo of all of my girls together. As soon as Aubrey sees the camera she takes off for the most part. Tell her to go sit, stand, or whatever by her sisters with my camera out and it is even worse. I think I really need to get some professional photos done soon.

Catch up

I have kind of taken a break from photography and from the internet. I have still been getting on but not doing much outside of my school work. There is a lot going on with me so it was kind of a much needed break. I am not sure when I will fully pick back up again but hopefully it will be soon. The term is almost over. I only have a few assignments left from one class then I am done. Overall I have done great. I have my goals set for school and I hope nothing gets in my way. I changed it up a little from what I originally planned. I am still going for the same thing but I decided to go to a different school. Bad thing is, it is MUCH more expensive but at the end of the 2 years (starting fall 2012) I will have an associates degree and a bachelor's degree. The entire associates transfers into the bachelor's, then add in the classes I am doing this year and I will only have one semester of work to do, which will be sitting in on different areas like mammograms, MRIs etc. This route is also better because the first two semesters won't be a full 40 hours a week like it would have been going through the hospital's program. That will make it easier to work and see my kids more too, which is a great thing!

Here are a few photos from the past few weeks. The editing is all over the place. When I feel up to it I will go through and redo them, and work on the ones I haven't even gotten to yet!

These first ones are from when I met up with my old friend. It was a great day just hanging out, not stressing about anything that is going on.














Aubrey's first dentist appoitment






Aubrey hanging out on her birthday. Hard to believe my baby is already 2! I plan on making a post for her birthday, hopefully this weekend I will get that done since it is already late!

Week 17/52

A little late with this post but at least I am doing it! Saturday I was out all day with an old friend and my kids, it was such a nice day to spend be outside all day. I have known this girl since Jr High but haven't seen her since she left for college. When I was in Germany we found each other online and she ended up moving here. It's great having such a familiar face around. It's crazy how you can go years without talking to someone and you can just pick up right where you left off. It took a while for us to find time to get together for more than a coffee date when she gets off work, but now that her husband is away for training for the Air Force we have been seeing each other more often.

All last week I put off doing my school work. Every week I say I won't wait until the weekend to finish it but it never fails that I have a ton of work to do on the weekends. Instead of taking time to make this post Sunday or yesterday I buckled down and finished all of my work from the week, which was a ton! Sunday was gorgeous, it has to be a crime to sit inside and do school work on such a nice day in Washington. I did take it out front for a little bit so the kids could enjoy the sunshine.

A week ago I got the older girls' hair cut. It is shorter than they wanted but they needed it. Of course now that it has been a little while they love it. I think they just like that it is so much easier on them when I comb it out! They actually let me take them out back to get some basic shots of them. I need to re-edit a few of them, the coloring is all over the place and I am not happy with the first conversion, but these will have to do for now.

Flashback Friday!

It took many years to get to this point. This point being that my sister and I are close. We fought a lot in our pre teen and teenage years. When I was pregnant with my first at such a young age she was downright mean to me. It was tough always trying to be the bigger person but I always did it, holding out hope that someday we would have a "normal" relationship. It took her getting pregnant with her first for her to finally come around. A friend of ours' mom told me that it hurt my sister when I got pregnant because she was always told she would never be able to carry a baby full term (she now has 3 healthy babies!). It took my husband joining the Army before she really came around. While he was away for training we became close. Once I left for Germany it just took off from there. We now talk several times a week, sometimes even several times a day. As much as I don't want to move back to Nebraska, I am looking forward to hanging out with my sister and my nieces and nephew a lot more. My oldest niece knows me well but I have only been around my nephew twice, and never met my newest niece.

This one is when I went back to Omaha for a month when my grandpa died. We really bonded during this time. My husband was in Iraq and we sat together a lot in the middle of the night with our grandpa.



A few months later I paid for her and my niece to fly to Germany to be with me for a month. My husband planned it before he left for Iraq, he wanted me to have something to look forward to and help pass the time. We had a great time together. I was able to show her around my town and we went to Paris together. This photo is us together on the elevator going up the Eiffel Tower. I love this photo of us, it was also my dad's favorite before he died.



I hope my girls don't go through as much drama as we did. At least I know that if they do, things can turn around and they can always be there for each other.

Join in on Flashback Friday at 525,600 Minutes.

Week 16/52

We finally have been having some nice sunny days. I could use a few degrees higher in temperature but I will take what I can get for now. I forget how much I miss a nice sunny day sometimes. It can be depressing not seeing the sun much. I went from one gloomy place (Germany) to another (Washington). I need a vacation to Hawaii or something.

We have been trying to take full advantage of the nice days. We have been seeing a lot of the parks this week and just playing out front with the other kids on the street.







After the park that day I took the kids to the library. The older 2 were working on some homework so Aubrey and I read some books and I let her color on the computer.



I don't know what it is about this book but Aubrey just loves it (okay, I do know...she is a daddy's girl lol). We rented it previously and returned it that day. She found another copy of it on the shelves and sat down to look at it some more. I read that book so much in the few weeks we had it that I have it memorized lol.


I am going to try and get some new shots of the big girls today. It is tough at the park because they are all over the place and I have to stay right by my little dare devil. I took them to get their hair cut last night. Asia wasn't too thrilled because I had them cut off a little more than she wanted. She really needed it though. At least she didn't cry. I remember when I was younger (older than her though) that I cried when they cut my hair too short. This morning I think she started coming around. It was easier for her to wash and SO much easier for me to comb through. That is a win for both of us!