I was always a true daddy's girl. I was closer to my dad than my mom. I could tell him anything and he was always on my side. When my husband and I went to my parents at such a young age to tell them I was pregnant my dad was there for me when my mom said some awful things. It's kind of crazy but a few weeks before I found out I was pregnant, pretty sure I was pregnant at the time, my dad and I were in the car and drove by a group protesting abortions. He told me his thoughts on it and I told him mine. We both agreed it usually isn't the right thing to do. I think he somehow knew that I was pregnant. All through my pregnancy he was great. Even when he was out of town for work he would make sure I was okay and everything. When my water broke at 35 weeks and I couldn't get a hold of my husband right away since his cell service was crappy my dad came to get me and 2 am with no shoes on to get me to the hospital asap. He was a nervous wreck and actually took me to the wrong ER (the hospital was on the same grounds as another one, he thought they shared ERs). He had to leave me to go take my mom the phone but was coming right back.
My husband made it there with me and our daughter was born only 3 hours later. My dad has always been a big talker. It was taking him forever to get back. He actually walked in as they were cleaning me up. Not exactly what he thought he was walking in to! When my daughter was in the NICU and my car was broke down my dad would take me up there whenever I wanted. One time he sat in the parking garage for 2 hours in the car. He would come in with me to say hello to his grand baby then give me my time with her. One night he heard me awake at probably 1 am and I was sad. I didn't say anything to him, he just said to get my shoes on and let's go to the hospital. He always knew what to do.
Asia and Amya were so in love with him even though he wasn't around all that often because of work. Him and my mom would send my girls 1-2 boxes a month full of goodies and called them all the time. They always knew they could go to grandpa to get chocolate donuts and a few sips of orange soda. I get so sad that Aubrey will never get to meet her last surviving grandpa. He honored him by giving Aubrey his middle name for her middle name, Aubrey Allan. I hope through stories and pictures she will see what a great grandpa she had. I am sure her sisters will help her out.
I sometimes feel cheated and that my kids were cheated. My dad died at only 47 and I was 22. His funeral was probably one of the hardest things I have had to do. I lost both of my grandpas and those funerals were tough but it seems so different when a person was sick for so long and you knew they were getting tired of suffering. My dad was young and still had so much life. I hate that what he had wasn't caught sooner. Looking back I think he had it for many years. Sometimes I wonder if it was caught if things would have turned out different. I am trying hard to fully believe he is in a better place. I know that he is at peace but it is hard. I hate that I didn't get to say goodbye since by time I got to Omaha from Germany he was on life support and was not conscious. Thank God my husband's unit let him have emergency leave from Iraq, he was my rock through the 2 weeks of my dad in the hospital and through his funeral. I don't know what I would have done without him there supporting me and my best friend there helping to support my kids.
My dad passed away from Wegener's granulomatosis. Some people can live for many years with it but it attacked my dad very quickly. From the time he was diagnosed until he passed away it was only 3 weeks. And to think he was on his way back home from work because his foot was hurting. We would have never thought it would have led to this.
I now try to not take advantage of anything. I cherish all of the precious moments I have with my family and friends. Losing my dad is part of the reason I started to get into photography and started taking so many pictures of my family. I don't have many pictures with my dad at all. I have some from when I was younger but from maybe 3rd grade until he passed away I only have a handful of them and that breaks my heart. Of course I still have all of the great memories of him, like our fishing trips with him and my grandpa. He always wanted to take his granddaughters fishing. Maybe next year around June 23 we can make a trip back to Valentine, NE so I can take my kids there.
Cherish the time you have with your loved ones. You never know how much time you are blessed to have with them.
